Ann begins this book with loss. She writes of the things that "force" her to question God.
In Job-like fashion minus the pride, she questions God and wonders where is the promised "abundant life" we as believers are supposed to experience.
I find my heart resonating with her beautifully placed words. The emotions, questions, frustrations of my Christ-walk and how seemingly little has changed to bring me closer to a place of Christ-likeness.
She then goes on to explain how our true sin (the first sin of the Garden) was/is ingratitude.
"Our fall was, has always been, and always will be, that we aren't satisfied in God and what He gives."
I see my losses, inadequacies, failures as gigantic rifts in my life where God didn't meet me. No matter how many times I hear the "Footprints in the Sand" poem or retell verses I've memorized, I don't know how to make the head-heart connection. I know I don't fully say yes to what He gives, I pick and choose only the "good" and even then I'm picky.
"...we only see all that isn't: holes, lack, deficiency."
I'm not quite sure He is for my good.
Then, the startling realization of a scripture overlooked,
"His secret purpose framed from the very beginning [is] to bring us to our full glory" (I Cor. 2:7 NEB).
This has been and is His plan for us, despite sin.
She pens this profound statement,
"I wonder...if the rent in the canvas of our life backdrop, the losses that puncture our world, our own emptiness, might actually become places to see.
To see through to God.
That that which tears open our souls, those holes that splatter our sight, may actually become the thin, open places to see through the mess of this place to the heart-aching beauty beyond.
To Him:"
She ends with the question I have, "HOW?"
"How do I give up resentment for gratitude, gnawing anger for spilling joy? Self-focus for God -communion."
Thus begins her story.
"A dare to an emptier, fuller life."
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