Ch. 5 "What in the world, in all this world, is grace?

One  act of thanksgiving,

when things go wrong with us,

is worth a thousand thanks when things

are agreeable to our inclinations

St. John of Avila

This quote pretty well sums up this chapter.  In Ann's words, this quote sums up the hard eucharisteo.  In this chapter, Ann reveals the difficulty of giving thanks when the circumstances don't add up to a feeling of thanks.  She relays a time one of her children is hurt and how she walks through that.

"...Satan prowls but he's a lion on a leash 

and the God who governs all can be shouted at when I bruise, 

and I can cry and I can howl and 

He embraces the David- Hearts who pound hard on His heart with their grief 

and I can moan deep that He did this-

and He did."

I have such difficulty in what/how I should be thankful  in those dark times of pain, heartache, dreams dashing, and the day-to-day monotony.

".. new life comes out of the dark places."

Spring from Winter, baby from dark womb, seed to plant/flower, tomb to rising; all examples of this.

"Grace that chooses to bear the cross of suffering overcomes that suffering."

Oh to learn this lesson now, oh to radiate grace rather than rage and victim.   

I come from a long line of "victims" and pessimism.  I've had few examples of grace and true God-birthed joy.  Oh Lord, break the chains, may my children see this in me and choose a different way.  The hard eucharisteo.

"The hard discipline to lean into the ugly  and

whisper thanks to transfigure it into beauty.

The hard discipline to give thanks for all things

at all times.

The hard discipline to number the griefs as grace because...

God chooses to cut into my ungrateful heart 

to make it whole."

Make me whole!